Phrases Children Can Use to Stand Up for Themselves

Teaching children to stand up for themselves is crucial for their personal development and well-being. It empowers them to express their needs, set boundaries, and resist peer pressure. In this blog, we will explore phrases children can use to assert themselves confidently and respectfully, along with strategies for teaching and reinforcing these skills.


The Importance of Assertiveness

Assertiveness helps children:

  • Communicate their needs and desires effectively
  • Protect themselves from bullying and peer pressure
  • Develop self-confidence and self-respect
  • Build healthy relationships

Common Challenges in Teaching Assertiveness

Children may face several challenges in learning to assert themselves, including:

  • Fear of rejection or conflict
  • Lack of confidence in their communication skills
  • Uncertainty about how to express their needs respectfully
  • Influence of cultural or familial expectations

Phrases Children Can Use to Stand Up for Themselves

1. Setting Boundaries

  • “Please stop. I don’t like that.”
  • “I need some space right now.”
  • “That’s not okay with me.”

2. Expressing Needs and Feelings

  • “I feel upset when you do that.”
  • “I need some help with this.”
  • “Can we talk about what happened?”

3. Resisting Peer Pressure

  • “No, thank you. I don’t want to do that.”
  • “I have different plans.”
  • “I’m not comfortable with this.”

4. Seeking Help

  • “Can you help me with this problem?”
  • “I need to talk to an adult about this.”
  • “Can we work together to solve this?”

5. Negotiating and Compromising

  • “How about we take turns?”
  • “Let’s find a solution that works for both of us.”
  • “Can we come to an agreement on this?”

Strategies for Teaching Assertiveness

1. Model Assertive Behavior
Children learn by observing their parents and caregivers. Model assertive behavior in your interactions. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs, such as, “I feel upset when you interrupt me. Please wait until I’m finished speaking.”

2. Role-Playing
Engage your child in role-playing exercises to practice assertive communication. Create scenarios where they need to stand up for themselves and guide them in using the appropriate phrases.

3. Positive Reinforcement
Praise and acknowledge your child when they use assertive communication effectively. Positive reinforcement encourages them to repeat the desired behavior. For example, “Great job telling your friend how you feel. That was very brave.”

4. Teach Emotional Awareness
Help your child identify and understand their emotions. Use tools like emotion charts, journals, or storytelling to help them articulate their feelings. Ask questions like, “How did that make you feel?” or “Can you describe what you’re feeling right now?”

5. Create a Safe Environment
Foster a supportive and non-judgmental environment where your child feels comfortable expressing themselves. Encourage open communication and validate their feelings.


Handling Challenges in Teaching Assertiveness

Children may face difficulties in asserting themselves, especially in unfamiliar or intimidating situations. Here are some tips for supporting them:

  • Encourage open communication about their fears and concerns.
  • Offer guidance and reassurance in challenging situations.
  • Praise their efforts and progress, even if the outcome isn’t perfect.
  • Provide consistent opportunities for practice and growth.

The Role of Play in Teaching Assertiveness

Play is an effective way to teach assertiveness. Engage your child in role-playing games where they practice asserting themselves in various scenarios. Activities like pretending to order food at a restaurant or negotiating rules for a game can build their confidence and communication skills.


Teaching children to stand up for themselves is crucial for their personal and social development. By providing them with assertive phrases and modeling assertive behavior, parents and caregivers can help children develop the skills needed to express their needs and navigate social interactions confidently. Remember, assertiveness is a skill that takes time and practice to develop. With patience and support, children can learn to advocate for themselves effectively and respectfully.