Not every teenager who uses a phone is “addicted.” Sometimes, the concern comes from misunderstanding their habits and needs. Here’s the story of a mother’s 80 km journey to seek help — and what we found together.
A Mother’s Concern – A Long Journey to Counselling
Recently, a mother travelled over 80 kilometres to meet me for counselling for child’s behaviour. She came with her teenage son, a 10th-grade student. Her worry was clear:
“He’s my only son. He’s always on his phone — watching reels, scrolling — and I fear he will fail his exams.”
Many parents today share this concern. With the rising use of mobile phones, it’s easy to assume that frequent phone use means mobile addiction. But as a child psychologist specialising in childhood disorders, I knew we had to look deeper before making any conclusion.
The Teenager’s Reality
When I spoke to the boy, I found a polite, disciplined, and humble child. His daily routine surprised his mother once we discussed it:
- 5:40 am: Wakes up, uses his phone for 10 minutes before school.
- 1:00 pm: Lunch with 15 minutes of phone time.
- 2:00–5:00 pm: Attends coaching classes.
- Evening: Homework, then outdoor play with friends.
- 9:00 pm: Bedtime, with 15 minutes of phone use before sleeping.
Total phone usage: 45–60 minutes a day — mostly for studying, revising, and watching educational videos.
His grades had dropped between Class 8 and Class 9, but this was due to the academic jump in syllabus, not excessive mobile use. His real struggle was that his parents misunderstood his learning habits and thought his phone was the problem.
What Real Mobile Addiction Looks Like
In my work with child behaviour counselling, I explain to parents that mobile addiction is not about simply using a phone every day. It becomes a problem when there is:
- Loss of control over usage.
- Avoidance of studies, hobbies, or responsibilities.
- Withdrawal from friends and family.
- Irritability and restlessness without a phone.
This boy’s phone usage was purposeful, balanced, and supported his studies. He still played outside, engaged with family, and managed his responsibilities.
When Parental Perception Becomes the Issue
Often, when children’s grades drop, parents immediately blame technology. While excessive screen time can harm focus, misreading the situation can create mistrust and unnecessary conflict.
In today’s world, digital parenting is not about banning devices but about guiding their use. Through counselling for child behaviour, I often advise parents to:
- Understand why their child is using the phone.
- Set healthy limits, not punishments.
- Encourage offline activities.
- Maintain open communication and trust.
Practical Tips for Parents Worried About Mobile Use
If you think your child might be too dependent on their phone, here are steps that can help:
- Observe Before Judging – Track how much time is spent and what content is viewed.
- Separate Learning from Entertainment – Educational use is different from endless scrolling.
- Set Time Limits Together – Involve your child in deciding rules.
- Encourage Offline Engagement – Sports, hobbies, and family time are essential.
- Communicate Without Accusation – Discuss habits calmly.
- Acknowledge Responsible Use – Appreciate your child when they use technology wisely.
Why This Matters in Child Behaviour Counselling
In over a decade of working with childhood disorders and behavioural challenges, I have seen technology act as both a distraction and a learning tool. The difference lies in how it is used and how parents respond.
Mistrust can harm the parent-child relationship, while guidance can help children build healthy digital habits.
What Parents Should Know
Not every teenager using a phone is addicted. Some are using it as a learning aid, a tool for growth, and a source of knowledge. As parents, seeing the full picture before taking action is crucial.
If you are worried about your child’s habits, consider counselling for child behaviour. A professional can help you identify whether it’s a case of mobile addiction, a learning style preference, or another underlying childhood disorder.
Author:
Dr. Vini Jhariya
Clinical and Child Psychologist
RCI Registered | M.Phil. (Clinical Psychology) | Ph.D. (Pursuing)
Founder – Urjasvini Child Development Centre, Indore
📞 Contact: 7999215093 | 9893371516