Because a few minutes of presence can shape a lifetime of emotional health.
Many parents assume that if their children are well-fed, safe, and enrolled in school or extracurricular activities, they’re doing everything right. But modern neuroscience reveals something different—something more intimate and powerful: children need emotionally attuned, one-on-one time with their parents. And not just occasionally—but daily.
As a child psychologist and behaviour counselling expert, I often meet parents concerned about childhood disorders like anxiety, ADHD, or sudden changes in behaviour. What many don’t realise is that even small shifts in how we connect with our children can have a powerful impact on their emotional and psychological well-being.
Are You There, But Not Really There?
A parent once said to me,
“I’m with my child all day, but we’re both on our phones or busy with chores. Why does he still seem disconnected?”
The answer lies in emotional presence. Being physically in the same room isn’t the same as being mentally and emotionally attuned. Children’s brains grow through connection, not just proximity.
What Your Child’s Brain Truly Needs: Attunement
Attunement means being fully present with your child—tuning into their emotional world with empathy. It involves:
- Making eye contact
- Mirroring their emotions
- Responding with warmth and curiosity
- Pausing what you’re doing to truly listen
When you do this, you activate vital neurochemicals like oxytocin and serotonin in your child’s brain. These chemicals are responsible for:
Building trust
Strengthening self-esteem
Enhancing emotional regulation
Fostering secure attachment
According to renowned child psychotherapist Dr. Margot Sunderland, these attuned moments help children develop “inner warmth”—a critical buffer against stress, anxiety, and behavioural issues.
One-On-One Time: Emotional Vitamins for Children
Think of daily one-on-one time as emotional nourishment. It doesn’t need to be elaborate or long. Even short bursts of quality interaction can rewire your child’s emotional pathways.
For example:
- 10 minutes of undistracted bedtime chat
- 5 minutes of playing their favourite game after school
- A walk to the shop without your phone
- A cuddle and chat during snack time
These moments tell your child:
– “You matter.”
– “You are safe with me.”
– “I see you. I hear you. I love you.”
Real-Life Example from Indore
One working mother who visited my clinic in Indore shared her struggle:
“I used to feel guilty about not spending enough time with my son. But I started a 10-minute ‘special time’ at night. We just talked or laughed. Within a week, his tantrums reduced. He started sleeping better. I didn’t change my job—I changed how I was present.”
This is the power of focused, undivided time.
What Happens When Children Don’t Receive It?
Children lacking consistent, attuned attention may:
- Act out to get any kind of attention—positive or negative
- Withdraw emotionally or become clingy
- Develop low self-esteem or trust issues
- Face higher risks of anxiety, behavioural disorders, or emotional imbalance
As a counsellor and therapist who specialises in childhood disorders, I often see that emotional neglect—even unintentional—can be at the root of many behavioural challenges.
Practical Ways to Add One-on-One Time (Even If You’re Busy)
– Give it a name: Create a routine like “Papa-Chai Time” or “Mumma & Me Moments”
– Ditch the screens: Keep phones and TV off during this time
– Let them lead: Whether it’s a silly game or a story, follow their interest
– Be emotionally available: Don’t multitask; be fully present
– Keep it consistent: It’s better to spend 5 minutes daily than hours only on weekends
The Long-Term Impact on Mental Health
Research from The Science of Parenting shows that children who consistently experience secure emotional connections are:
- More emotionally stable
- Better equipped to handle peer pressure
- Less prone to depression and anxiety as they grow
This is why behaviour counselling often focuses not just on the child, but also on parent-child dynamics. Because children grow stronger roots when watered with presence, not presents.
Final Thought
As a child counsellor and therapist in Indore, I encourage every parent reading this to start small. You don’t need hours. You just need a few intentional, loving moments each day. These moments build the foundation of your child’s lifelong emotional health.